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Wherever You Are, Be There

Feeling rather restless and rootless at the moment I am constantly reminding myself to:

  • live in the moment,
  • be present,
  • accept the present/intend the future
  • this moment is as it should be because the whole universe is as it should be

I eat well, meditate daily, walk in the countryside, rest, have fun and generally love life.  But. I find living ‘in between’ incredibly difficult.  My brain is screaming to get stuck into projects, communities, things, things, something to keep it active and busy.  I panic that life is passing me by and I’m not achieving anything, not fulfilling my purpose, wasting precious time.

Beautiful South Wales

Beautiful South Wales

And then I take a deep breath, slow down that monkey mind chattering away and remember that my life, right now, is filled with blessings, love, discoveries, good health, friendships and all the things that make it so magically wonderful.  So what’s the problem then?  I think that it’s the void.  We have been living in Cardiff for four and a half months and really love it here (partly because we know we’re leaving soon?).  It’s a fabulous City, great culture, architecture, people, scenery and so many things to do and keep us occupied that we’ve barely scratched the surface.  But it isn’t home.  We came here because it’s the city of my birth and I wanted to be closer to my parents for a while.  And I’m loving spending time with them and with the City and all it has to offer.  A lot of time though is spent planning and preparing for our move to Spain at the end of January so my heart is only ever half here and the other half across the water.

There is something to be said for that feeling of discomfort and ‘being’ in the void as I’m convinced that that is where the magic happens – where creativity can bubble up to the surface and be heard.  It’s like the analogy of dropping a pebble into a raging sea and it having no impact whatsoever, whereas the same pebble dropped into a calm lake sends ripples far and wide.  Today then I will enjoy the calm lake and drop pebbles of creativity into it and see what happens!